Conceal
by arthurthedollophead
Summary: Arthur is set to marry Princess Mithian but Merlin's concerned he's not doing it for himself. Arthur becomes worried when Merlin begins acting strangely. Could he be jealous? Arthur's plans quickly become derailed when Merlin goes missing and he sets out to find him.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! So I just started this new story because I've been wanting to write something in the canon era with a bit of jealous Merlin and I hope you like it. I'm still planning on updating my other fic but its taken awhile (sorry about that) I'll definitely update it in the near future don't worry! Anyways I really hope you enjoy this one! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, if I did merthur would be together and the show wouldn't have ended.**

Chapter 1

"MERLIN!" Merlin knew it was coming before the King could even get his name out. He dropped his fork pushed out from the table. "Duty calls." He rolled his eyes before running out the door.

"Yes...sire?" Merlin leaned on the door frame attempting to catch his breath.

"Was your leisurely walk here too taxing for you, Merlin?" Arthur crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I just ran up three flights of stairs!" Merlin entered the room and pushed the door closed behind him. Arthur's arms dropped to his side and he stepped closer to the servant.

"I don't mean to lash out at you Merlin but you know what today is." Arthur put a hand on his shoulder and Merlin's stomach did a backflip. Oh, he knew what today was and he had been trying to forget about it since Arthur told him two weeks ago. He had been dreading its arrival but he would never admit that to anyone.

"What's today again?" Merlin joked and Arthur chuckled and dropped his hand.

"Very funny," he made his way over to his dresser, "and I need to make sure I look my best for it." He held up a red shirt, "How's this? Too casual?"

"Arthur, I'm sure Princess Mithian will like you no matter what you're wearing." Merlin looked to the floor and lowered his voice, "What with your...charming personality and all."

"What did you say?" Arthur said, his head still in the wardrobe.

"Oh nothing, just that she'll like you for your personality!" Merlin nervously laughed and went to make Arthur's bed.

"What're you doing?" Arthur turned to face Merlin as he fluffed the King's pillows and smoothed the blankets out.

"Something called making the bed...which I do every morning, you're probably surprised that it's me and not some woodland creatures, sorry to disappoint." Though him and Arthur were sharing their normal morning round of banter, the air was stiff between them.

"I'm sure even woodland creatures would make less of a mess than you do." Arthur held up another shirt to himself and tossed it aside.

" _I_ make a mess? Have you looked in a mirror?!" Merlin walked around the bed to the side where Arthur was standing and picked up the discarded shirt.

"Good idea!" Arthur pulled the shirt from Merlin's hands and put it on as he walked over to the mirror on the other side of the room. Merlin rolled his eyes and began putting the other shirts back into the wardrobe. And _he_ was the one that made a mess? Ridiculous. "How does it look?"

Arthur turned to Merlin and Merlin looked him up and down. He looked good, not too formal but not overly casual. "Fine." Merlin closed the cabinet.

"What's wrong? Is it a bad color or something?"

"It's white…" Merlin fluffed the pillows more to avoid eye contact.

"Then what is it?" Arthur now stood on the other side of the bed facing Merlin.

"Nothing, will that be all?" Merlin approached the door, hoping Arthur wouldn't ask him any more questions.

"Merlin," Merlin turned around, "What's on your mind? I've known you for years I know when somethings wrong."

"Nothing's wrong at all, I don't know what you're talking about." Merlin opened the door and began inching his way out it.

"Yes you do, and whatever it is, you can talk to me about it." Arthur looked genuinely concerned for his servant but Merlin just nodded and scooted the rest of the way out of the room.

Arthur tapped his fingers on the table as he waited for everyone to arrive, a nervous habit he had undoubtedly picked up from his father over the years.

He hoped his father would be proud of him for doing this. He wanted to be the best ruler he could be for Camelot and its people and he desperately wanted to make his father proud by doing so.

"Will you stop that." Merin said from where he stood against the stone wall of the throne room. Arthur had forgotten he was here, he was so used to his presence that being with him had the same effect as being alone. He felt completely comfortable with Merlin around.

"Sorry, habit." Was all Arthur could say. He couldn't take his mind off of the pit in his stomach for long enough to form a good response.

"You alright?" Merlin was standing behind him now, with a hand on the back of his chair.

"I'm fine," he considered his next words carefully, it was hard to describe what he was feeling, "I just...it's just that I want to be the best King I can be and to do that, I need to strengthen the kingdom. Marrying Mithian will do that but I need to impress her and her father first. I want-"

"You want to make Uther proud." Merlin finished. He had an odd habit of knowing exactly what Arthur was thinking. Maybe he wasn't so clueless after all.

"I want him to support the decisions I make as King, I don't want to disappoint him or threaten the wellbeing of his kingdom."

"You mean your kingdom." Merlin cut him off.

"Right, yes I'm not used to saying that."

"Arthur, whatever you do just remember that Camelot is under your control, not Uther's. You can make decisions that he wouldn't make himself, you're a different person-" Before Merlin got a chance to finish the doors opened and part of Arthur was relieved. Though he trusted in Merlin's council and he knew there was a possibility that his friend was right, he couldn't think about the possibility of disappointing his father more he already had by appointing the Knights and switching to the round table.

"Welcome," Arthur stood from his seat and went to greet his guests, "It is an honor to have you in Camelot my lord," he said, addressing King Rodor, "have you been enjoying your stay here?" Arthur gestured to the table and they all sat down.

"The honor is all ours, Arthur, we have, thank you for the hospitality you have shown us."

"I'm glad, it's a pleasure having you here. It can't be easy being away from Nemeth for so long."

"It is good to get away for even just a week, but, my duties as King follow me wherever I go I'm afraid." Arthur nodded his head at King Rodor, knowing how true that was. A King's first and most important commitment was to his kingdom. That was why Arthur was doing this, not because of his father, well not fully anyway.

A moment later the servants came in carrying a few platters of food for the three of them. Arthur had hand selected the food because he wanted it to be perfect, (also known as Merlin selected the food because there were a million other preparations to be made and Merlin could be trusted with this small task.)

Arthur watched as Merlin took a platter from one of them, placed it before Arthur and moved back to stand near the wall. Sometimes it was odd thinking of Merlin as a servant, though he did order him around a lot Merlin was one of the closest people to him.

Once Mithian and Rodor were served they all began eating. Turned out, Merlin did well picking a meal, it was delicious.

Merlin stood and watched as they ate. They seemed to enjoy what he picked and for that he was relieved. He had spent a lot of time going back and forth between that and another meal but he decided to go against the other choice because it often left people with bad breath.

"So, Mithian, have you been enjoying Camelot?" Arthur grinned at the princess. Merlin felt his stomach tie itself in knots. He should be happy for Arthur but for some reason he just wasn't.

"Oh, yes it's lovely, thank you." She smiled back.

Merlin wanted so badly to go back to his chambers and stay there for a few hours or collect herbs or even clean out the stocks. That would be much better than standing against this wall and watching Arthur in his attempts to flirt.

He crossed his arms, and tried to look away. Arthur was certainly impressing Mithian just as Merlin knew he would.

Merlin could feel Arthur's gaze on him for a short moment but he didn't turn to face him until after he looked away. He didn't want Arthur to think that he was upset.

After the dinner was over Arthur told them goodbye. He shook King Rodor's hand and Mithian curtsied and held out hers. Arthur bent down and kissed it and suddenly a glass flew off the table and shattered on the floor. They all jumped, including Merlin.

He hadn't even tried to do that. It was just an impulsive reaction. He did it before he could even think about it.

"Don't worry, I'll have one of my servants pick that up, my apologies." They thanked Arthur and left the throne room. "Merlin,"

"Yes sire." Merlin walked over to the shattered glass and began picking it up with his fingers.

"No, not you, I'll get someone else to do it, come here." Arthur put a hand on Merlin's back and led him out the door.

They stood together outside and Arthur crossed his arms. "Merlin," he said in a hushed tone, "what's upsetting you? I saw you standing there during the dinner, you looked miserable. And this morning, things were a bit off too. Come to think about it you've been acting like this for the past two weeks."

"I'm fine Arthur. I was just worried you wouldn't like the meal I chose."

"Merlin, it's more than that I've known you for years. I know it is. Why won't you talk to me?"

"That's all it was Arthur. I just hope you're happy with Mithan."

"So this is about Mithian? What, do you not think she's a suitable wife and queen?" Arthur asked, as if his opinion of her would change if Merlin said anything negative about her.

"No! She's fine forget I said anything."

"Merlin-"

"I have to go...collect herbs for Gaius." Merlin turned and began walking away from Arthur.

"Doesn't Gaius have enough herbs?!" He heard Arthur yell behind him but he kept walking towards Gaius's chambers without looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Guys! So more jealous Merlin in this chapter! I hope you enjoy it! Please leave reviews because I love reading them! Enjoy Merlinians!**

Chapter 2

"Merlin? Is something upsetting you?" Gaius asked from where he sat, working on some remedies.

Merlin had been sitting on the steps for the past few minutes lost in thought.

"I just..." Merlin looked up at him and then back down again. "I just don't think it's fair for him to have to do this."

"Merlin, it is his duty as King to form alliances in order to strengthen the kingdom."

"But, doesn't he have a duty to himself too? And will this really make Camelot stronger? I just don't-"

The door swung open "Gaius!" Arthur walked in before Merlin could hide.

"What is it sire?" Gaius bowed his head to Arthur.

"Where's- oh there you are," Arthur approached where Merlin sat on the steps, "Merlin I-"

"Sorry Arthur can't talk now, I have lots of herbs to collect isn't that right Gaius?" Merlin tried not to look at the kind and he grabbed his bag of of the post and moved to stand in front of the door. Gaius looked at both of them, eyebrows raised before responding.

"Well, um yes! Now that I think about it I am running low on a few important ingredients."

"See, sorry Arthur. Gotta go, the herbs are waiting!" Merlin left the room, sighing of relief before running down the hallway.

When he turned the corner he slid to a halt before nearly crashing into someone. "Sorry I-"

"Where're you off to?" Princess Mithian stood before him hands clasped in front of her.

"I was on my way to collect herbs." Merlin answered.

"Oh, well they must be quite important for you to go that fast, I don't want to hold you up." He bowed quickly and took a step forward. "Aren't you Arthur's servant?" She turned and Merlin paused.

"Yes." He said simply.

"You must feel very lucky to serve such a fine King." Merlin forced a smile at that.

"Yes, very. I must get going. The herbs won't pick themselves!" He bowed once more and started walking again. He stopped to take a breath after turning a corner and he hadn't even noticed that his hands had been in fists that whole time.

"Merlin!" He heard from down the hallway. He was just about to start running when he heard the princess speak.

"Arthur?" She spoke calmly.

"Oh, Mithian! Uh, sorry to disturb you I'm just uh...trying to find my...servant."

"Merlin? He went that way." Merlin assumed she pointed to the corner he was resting against and he began running again and didn't stop again until he was outside.

Arthur sat by the window in his chambers after Merlin left.

Why was he avoiding him? Maybe he wasn't avoiding him and he really was being truthful. He highly doubted that, Merlin was a dreadful liar.

Someone knocked at the door, "Come in," Arthur stood up, hoping to see someone standing there.

"Arthur?" His shoulders dropped.

"Mithian, is there something wrong?" He tried to force himself to sound more lively than he felt.

"No, not at all," she smiled and stepped further into his chambers, closing the door behind her.

"What is it then?" Arthur tried to catch another glance at the window as he spoke and Mithian seemed to notice when he did.

"Nothing, I just wanted to wish you a good night."

"Goodnight," Arthur attempted a small grin but with Merlin gone for so long it was proving difficult. He was beginning to get worried.

"I'll see you in the morning then." She curtsied.

"Indeed." Arthur held his smile until she made her way out of his room and then, he grabbed his sword and headed out.

 _Clunk_

Merlin watched as the water rippled around the fallen rock. He smiled, skipping rocks was one of his favorite pastimes back in Ealdor. Sometimes the children would have contests which Merlin would often win with the help of his magic.

They had crowned him King of the lake and they lifted his six year old self onto a rock where he stood and waved at his subjects as they cheered. That had been one of his proudest moments as a child.

Sometimes he thought about how much simpler life was in Ealdor. Other times he wondered what possessed him to leave. But in his heart he knew. Destiny.

Just as Kilgharrah told him many times, it was always destiny. Merlin didn't fit in in Ealdor, he didn't have anyone to teach him the ways of magic and the importance of controlling his power. Without Gaius and the great dragon he would most likely still be shattering pots by mistake.

He was thankful his mother helped him make the decision to venture to Camelot but he still missed home. He missed the times where his only responsibilities were helping with the washing and occasionally aiding his mother in the kitchen.

Here, it felt as if he always had the the weight of the world on his shoulders and no one to share to with. He needed to protect Arthur at all costs, it was his destiny. And, he cared about the king too much to do anything besides that. He would serve Arthur until the end of time and he was proud of that.

"Merlin?" He turned around as another rock plopping into the lake. "Sorry, did I scare you?" Arthur stepped out from behind the brush.

"No, not anymore than usual." A corner of Arthur's mouth turned up.

He came over to stand beside Merlin and they stood in silence for a long moment.

"Merlin," Arthur turned to face him, "What're you doing out here? It's nearly sundown," Arthur paused, "and don't tell me you're collecting herbs."

"But what if that's what I'm-"

"It's not." Merlin looked back at the water. Watching how still it was and how it perfectly reflected the sky. The water looked as if it was stained a variety of blues, pinks and lilacs. Whenever there was even a small break in the surface the colors would sway like the trees. "What's on your mind, Merlin."

"I was just...thinking about herbs."

"Really..." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"What?!" Merlin looked at him.

"I think that's the worst lie you've ever told!"

"When do I ever lie to you?" Merlin crossed his arms.

Arthur paused, letting out a sarcastic laugh before he spoke, "Are you serious?!" Merlin said nothing, "You lie all the time! And I can tell."

"Wow there's no getting past you is there!" Merlin was shaking his head and laughing now.

"I'm afraid not," he grinned, "Now tell me, what's troubling you."

Merlin kicked at the dirt near his feet, "I was just, thinking about home. I miss it sometimes." He threw another rock into the lake waiting for the splash before continuing. "Things were much simpler there."

A moment passed before Arthur spoke again, "I can never fully understand how you feel about leaving your home but, I do understand...about Camelot," he took a breath, "Sometimes I feel as if I have a huge burden on my shoulders and it can get lonely." Arthur sat on the grass where he stood in front of the lake, "I have a whole kingdom depending on me and I just feel like sometimes..."

"You're alone?" Merlin finished, sitting next to him. Arthur turned to Merlin and nodded his head slowly.

"Yes. Actually that's exactly it." They sat there for a moment in silence, "You do puzzle me, Merlin. The things that you understand. It's almost like you feel them too. Who knows, maybe you're not actually a complete clotpole." Arthur nudged him in the shoulder and Merlin laughed.

"That's my word dollophead!" Merlin nudged him back and he let out a laugh.

As they laid together, neither one thought of the weight they carried. Their minds, for once were blank and free of burden. In that moment, they felt free.

 **Hi! I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! I really enjoyed writing it! Chapter 3 will be up soon I've already started it!**


End file.
